Emma Thompson says 'parenthood is synonymous with guilt' as she shares her relatable approach and how she 'learnt the hard way'

Emma Thompson believes that parenthood is "synonymous with guilt" and she once revealed how she "learnt the hard way" when she became a mother.

Navigating parenthood can be challenging at times as we strive to do the best for our children and this universal experience is something shared by plenty of Hollywood icons too. Love, Actually star Emma Thompson has previously shared what she wishes she’d known when she first became a mum and we couldn’t admire her more for her candid reflections that many parents will be able to relate to. Emma and her husband Greg Wise are proud parents to daughter Gaia and son Tindyebwa and the Hollywood star got refreshingly honest about her approach to motherhood during a conversation with Red.

"I became a parent nearly two decades ago. What do I wish I’d known back then? Anything!" she explained. "Parenthood is synonymous with guilt and everyone thinks they’re a terrible parent. Mostly I was ignorant and learnt the hard way."

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Curated and introduced by Emma Thompson and Greg Wise, this heart-warming collection of essays includes the writing of Meryl Streep, Billy Bailey, Caitlin Moran and many others. It reflects upon the importance of kindness, generosity, acceptance and tolerance and shows us that these values are not just for the Christmas period.

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Looking back, Emma expressed her belief that she and Greg were "good enough" parents. However, she wishes that she’d known "more about the brain development of children and teens", adding, "Our neighbours had a daughter two years before us, and seeing her develop helped when our daughter was born."

In recent years there’s been even more public interest in and discussion about early childhood development more generally, in part due to the Princess of Wales’s focus on this area after launching her Royal Foundation Centre for Early Childhood in 2021. Kate, too, has opened up in the past about "mum guilt" and her opinion that anyone who says that they don’t feel this to some degree is "actually lying".

Understanding more about early childhood development is something that Emma also clearly thinks would have been beneficial for her as a parent - but it’s not the only thing she believes is helpful when it comes to parenting. The actor shared how trying not to repeat your own parents’ mistakes can be a whole other issue in itself, though it can have benefits.

"It’s also helpful to look at your own parents, consider where you think they got it right and wrong, and try not to repeat their mistakes – but that’s another whole nest of vipers!" she said. "Ultimately, it’s useful to bring up children with consistency and calm, though I don’t think I was consistently calm or calmly consistent!"

In Emma’s view, it’s "great" if a parent can find a way to be "observant but non-judgemental, so a child feels seen and loved but not defined". When it comes to motherhood, Emma Thompson has also previously described how she perceives women as the ones who are “blamed” for things going wrong.

"Everything is always seen as the mother's fault," she said during a conversation with Mamamia about her 2022 film, Good Luck To You, Leo Grande. "I think as women we have to remember how much we are blamed for, we are always the ones blamed when things go wrong. A dreadful aspect of the motherhood conversation is the 'super mum trope'."

"Honestly, you get any group of women in a room and ask them about this and they'll start to really talk. But we don't do that enough," she continued. "We need to learn that we can talk about these subjects. Without somehow causing the breakdown of society."