Secondary breast cancer

Sue Keir, 53, tells Shona Sibary how she's working with Breast Cancer Care to prevent women diagnosed with secondary breast cancer, like her, feeling so alone.

Sue is married to Dave, 53.They have two children, Emma, 30, and Jamie, 26.

“I remember when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, I used to lie awake at night feeling terrified.

I could cope with the known, with facts gleaned from the Internet and my breast cancer nurse. It was the uncertainty of the situation that frightened me. And, as anybody who has had breast cancer knows, there's plenty of uncertainty involved.

I was given the option of a lumpectomy or a mastectomy, but either way the prognosis was good – I was told there was a 95% chance of the cancer not coming back. I just remember feeling determined to do whatever it took to ensure the cancer never returned.

I then had a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery, followed by six courses of chemotherapy. During this time, my daughter Emma broke the news that she was pregnant with my first grandchild and it gave me the focus I needed to put cancer aside and get on with my life. I'd come through breast cancer and survived. I felt a renewed conviction to enjoy life to the full.

But deep down I didn't feel as well as I had hoped. Two years after the chemotherapy finished, I was still generally tired and under the weather in a way I couldn't exactly pinpoint.

I went to my GP with an excruciating pain in my side – assuming that it was nothing more than a pulled muscle – and he sent me away for an x-ray.

The x-ray showed shadows on my lungs, which suggested that the cancer had returned. To say that I was astonished would be an understatement. I knew very little about secondary breast cancer. I thought the cancer had been dealt with and that was that.

When it was confirmed that the cancer had spread to my lungs, I went into a state of shock. The oncologist told me it wasn't curable – but hopefully it was containable. I knew I couldn't change or have control over the diagnosis, but I did have control over my attitude towards it. So I told the oncologist that I was determined to defy science.

Suddenly, life as I knew it had come to a standstill and everything had to be prioritised in a different way. I had so many questions. Unlike the first time round, there was nobody to ask. There was no support nurse like I had the first time. I was on my own.

I wrote to my consultant to express my concerns about the gaps in care and how they might be filled. I also went to Breast Cancer Care and got involved in its Secondary Breast Cancer Taskforce and one of its advisory groups.

I've since given up work on the grounds of ill health. I feel passionate about helping people in a similar situation and it has given me back the responsibility and sense of identification that come with having a career.

I don't feel like I'm dying and I don't yet feel ready to have closing conversations with my family. I'm hoping I'll know when the time is right.

Instead, I'm determined to look at this as a new era, with different opportunities and challenges. I prefer to think that I'm living with cancer – not dying from it. This isn't a path I would have chosen but, in a funny way, I feel privileged because I'm enjoying my life like I've never enjoyed it before.”

Visit the Breast Cancer Care website to find out more about their Secondary Breast Cancer Taskforce.

Be aware of breast cancer and how to spot the early signs of the illness

Subscribe to Woman and Home for just £24.99

VOTE NOW